Wetsuit Francais and the `Splotion!s

A letter from Dr. Wetsuit Fran?ais - The Man and Myth

You are all so beautifully lucky.

To stand before the works of my `Splotion!s is truly a privilege, I'm sure you are unaware. Behold, for in my image they have been created. Their engaging rhythms and feral licks can surely tickle you in all the right places. I had thought to myself, "Fran?ais, what if you trained your disciples to become the quintessential band of a musical revolution? Wouldn?t that be a fantastic anecdote?" And so I undertook the undertaking of a lifetime, to form a whole new way of thinking into a semi-coherent musical explosion. These`Splotion!s are just that, they are an onomatopoeia of their own souls. To exist, and to play music for them is `Splotion!. So much of life is harmonized within `Splotion!, But it is an unexplainable phenomenon. It is only with your own mind that you can truly perceive what a `Splotion! Is, And why? They are called `Splotion!s.

It is a demonstration of energy and iconoclasty through music, it reaches into your soul and finds what is in a chosen few of us... a universal quest for what is original and appealing. One could not put words to describe it. It is more than an act, a show, a band, a song, a set list, a lyric... it is a window into `Splotion! The disciples of `Splotion! are more than the sums of their tangible parts. When they come together to present their work, look further than the surface level, of thundering bass lines and distorted guitars, to find the meaning to the group as a whole. Do you think? they play contrasting styles for no reason? This is not purely entertainment. We are entertainers, attempting to bring forth a more pure and focused cataclysm of music. It just so happens to be very entertaining. Their exhibitions in public have been experiments to gauge the average public's reaction to such a radical idea. We now realize that we are no longer an average/unified public, and there is a specific sect of humans who are completely ready and willing to embrace the `Splotion! And all that comes with it.

Our mission: rally the Hordes of the Willing, Show Them the `Splotion!, Teach Them the Way, Take The Majority, Lead Them To Change, and Fortify the Universal Truths.

This is not a revolution similar to Christianity, where they are concerned for your true belief. If you did not truly believe, you would not be able to be a part of it. We advocate nothing more than an abolishment of music which is dishonest.

There is such a thing as a PROFESSIONAL musician, and the amateurs have had their turn. This is not genre specific targeting, this is an evolution of music as a whole. It is as though our generation is a new forest. There are weeds that are growing and dying in a seasonal cycle. But there are the trees, those that withstand weather and time, which truly impact the landscape. The focus has turned upon the weeds, like a child?s fascination with a common dandylion. What we propose to do is start a metaphorical brushfire, and anything not strong enough to survive shall burn. The weeds will burn, and the dandelion too. With no distractions on the ground, the child's attention will turn upwards, to the trees. By the time the weeds grow strong enough to grow back, the child will have climbed high in the branches, among the trees.

We are a new species of humans, one prepared to make new standards relevant to today's society, rather than a coagulation of the past.

We are past writing another chapter. This is a whole new book. This is not raising the bar. The bar is old news.

 The old have dreams, the young see visions. I am still young enough to believe that we are not doomed to an eternity of soul-less amateur pop. In my old age, I shall dream and relish in it?s very downfall.

Thank you for your attention,

And please, if you are compelled by my concepts,

 speak out, and stand apart with the disciples of `Splotion!

 Dr. Wetsuit Fran?ais

Splotion@yahoo.com