The Merry Cumpathers

When astronaut Gary Pathers took off into outer space bound for the space station Mir, he wasn't sure if he would ever make music again. After earning his doctorate in music theory from the University of Chicago, he had become a well known contemporary composer; however, the old ball-and-chain as well as his work had driven him from his passion and Pathers had grown out of touch with modern music. Now approaching middle age, it seemed inevitable that he "grow up" and conform to society's astronaut expectations.

Kerry Cummer was already well situated on Planet Mir when Pathers arrived. At 28, the young Cummer was the lone representative of Great Britain on the Space Station. Although Cummer had never dabbled much in the music business, he had studied music, double majoring in computer engineering and music at Oxford. As perpetual prince of the avant garde, Cummer developed new ways of making music that were neither lyrical nor instrumental. Cummer's love for percussion and uncanny innate singing ability had served him well on Mir as he had begun to compose music in his spare time to fend off the boredom of space.

Kerry was calibrating one of the experimental death lasers when Pathers walked by and heard him humming a delicious tune in D major. Pathers immediately recognized Cummer's musical ability and initiated a friendship with him. Kerry's sweet alto voice blended perfectly with the booming baritone possessed by Pathers. Originally calling themselves the Mir Cats, the duo would change the band name to The Merry Cumpathers after it became clear that they would remain a duo forever. On Mir, Kerry and Gary recorded their first and only album entitled "I Wish You Were Here: Songs from Oblivion," keeping their relationship totally secret from other crew members. The relationship remained secret for the remainder of Cummer's tour of duty due to the fact that both Cummer and Pathers were married with children and were having an illicit homosexual affair. When Kerry's time on Mir came to an end, Gary gave him a bittersweet kiss goodbye and sent him back to Earth with the tapes they had recorded together. Truly, the greatest experiment conducted on Mir was The Merry Cumpathers.

Unfortunately, this would be thier last meeting. Just days after the melancholy separation had begun, Pathers was accidentally sucked into the inter-galactical portal without a space suit and instantly annihilated by the sheer force of father space.

When news of Pathers' death reached Earth the nation mourned its hero. Unable to cope, Cummer turned to the bottle and was disheveled by the turn of the century. He began hosting glass parties at his London apartment, at which young teens consumed wine and then proceeded to either eat the glasses of break them off inside their anuses for pleasure. At one of these infamous parties, a young lady stumbled upon a Merry Cumpather tape in Cummer's tape collection. She curiously inserted the tape into the Cummer's mega loud stereo and played it for the whole party to hear. Needless to say the Cumpathers were a huge hit with the teens and Cummer realized that he had a true gem on his hands. Newly divorced, Kerry Cummer works day and night at promoting The Merry Cumpathers and carrying on the legacy of the brave Gary Pathers. Listen and share in the glorious magic that is The Merry Cumpathers.